“I don’t have a network.”
It’s one of the most common things we hear from people starting a job search — and after two decades in recruiting and career coaching, here’s what we know: it’s almost never true. The network is there. It just hasn’t been mapped yet.
In our third video, Allora Collective founder Kelly Kugler and tech careers coach Chez Jennings break down the networking strategy that consistently outperforms job applications alone. Not the awkward conference kind — the kind built on organized outreach, specific asks, and making it genuinely easy for the people in your life to help you.
What We Cover
- Why “I don’t have a network” is almost never true — and how to map what you actually have
- The networking hierarchy: referrals first, introductions second, cold outreach last
- What a bad networking message looks like vs. what gets a 60–70% response rate
- The four-week follow-up cycle — and why following up is kind, not annoying
- How to make your ask so easy that your contact can help you in one action
- What recruiters look for when a referral lands in their inbox
- How to thank, update, and maintain the connections who help you — turning one-time help into ongoing advocacy
- Why networking is a communication skill, not a personality type
Step 1: Map Your Network (You Have More Than You Think)
The mapping exercise is where most people get their first surprise. When you sit down and actually make the list — not just the obvious people, but everyone — most people find 20 to 50 or more contacts they hadn’t considered.
Start with the core: former colleagues, coworkers, classmates, vendors you worked with, and your existing LinkedIn connections. Then go wider: cross-functional partners who weren’t on your direct team but knew your work, project leads, people from industry groups or conferences you attended.
Then go wider still: friends, neighbors, people in your personal community. As Chez puts it: “Who’s in your phone? Who are the people you know personally that, whether or not they’re in your industry, might have contacts they could connect you to?” Personal life events — the birthday party, the anniversary dinner, the neighborhood get-together — are also networking events. People in your personal life want to help you. You just have to let them know you’re looking.
Kelly describes two clients who were convinced they had no network. One had done government work internationally and spoken multiple languages. One had spent years at one of the most recognizable tech companies on earth. Both had rich, unmapped networks. What they lacked wasn’t connections — it was a plan for reaching them.
The Allora Networking Planner is the tool our clients use to organize this: it maps contacts to specific target companies, so it’s not just a list of names but a plan for outreach. You can build your own version as a spreadsheet or matrix — what matters is getting organized before you start reaching out, not after.
Actionable takeaway: Sit down and make the full list before you send a single message. Once it’s organized by target company, you’ll be far more efficient — and far more likely to actually follow through.
The Networking Hierarchy: Referrals First, Introductions Second, Cold Outreach Last
Not all outreach is equal. Here’s the order of priority, from highest to lowest impact:
1. A referral from someone who works at the company. This is your best shot. As we covered in Video 1, referrals often skip automated screening entirely — you go straight to a real human. If you have a direct connection at a target company, this is always where to start.
2. An introduction from a shared connection to someone at the company. Your second-degree network is bigger than your first. If someone you know can introduce you to someone they know at a target company, that introduction carries real weight.
3. Cold outreach. Reaching out to someone you don’t know and have no shared connection to. This is similar in effectiveness to a standard application — it can work, but it requires a much stronger message to get a response, and it doesn’t carry the trust signal that a referral or introduction does.
Actionable takeaway: Always start with referrals before you try introductions, and introductions before cold outreach. Most people do it backwards, going straight to cold messages when there’s a warmer path available.
What a Bad Networking Message Looks Like — and What Actually Works
Chez opened this section with something that’s become a significant frustration on the recruiting side: connection requests with no context.
“The number of people that just connect with me and I don’t know why you’re adding me — I need to know why you’re connecting with me because I want to connect with people I can help.”
The bad message: “Hi, I saw you work at [Company]. I’m looking for opportunities. Can we connect?” This gets ignored. It requires the recipient to do work just to understand what you want. It gives them nothing to act on.
The good message is specific, researched, and makes a clear and easy ask. It names the role or team you’re interested in. It references something real about their work. It tells them exactly what you’re asking for. And critically — if you’ve already applied and you’re in their company’s system, say so. Chez shared that if someone has already applied and gives her the context in a message, she can sometimes add a note directly to the application without needing any further back-and-forth. One complete action.
Actionable takeaway: Personalization is research. AI can help you draft, but the specific details about why you and why them has to come from you. A real person is sending this and a real person is receiving it — it needs to feel real.
How to Make the Ask Turnkey: Give People One Complete Action
This is the principle that changes everything about how people respond to networking requests.
The bad ask: “Here’s my resume. Let me know if you hear of anything.” This puts all the work on the other person. They have to figure out what you want, figure out how to help you, and then go do it. Most won’t.
The good ask after applying: “I applied for [role] on [date]. Can you help me avoid getting lost in the high-volume inbox? Here’s a short note on why I’m a fit, and my resume is attached.”
The good ask when you haven’t found a posted role: “I’m targeting [role type] at [Company A, B, C]. I saw you know [Name] at [Company B] — would you be comfortable making an introduction? I can draft the email to make it easy, and my resume is attached.”
The goal: they should be able to help you in one action. Forward one email. Paste one note. Make one introduction. Don’t make them ask you any questions first. Always include the job link so they don’t have to go find it. Always attach your resume even if it’s in the application — maybe they don’t feel like logging in.
Kelly also shared a lesser-known tactic: if a target company has no role posted at your exact level, you can use a role that’s one level up or down to reach out to a hiring manager or recruiter. “I’d love to work for your company — the only role I was able to find publicly posted was at [level], but I belong on this team at [your level]. What’s the best way for me to stay on your radar for when that role opens?” It’s thoughtful, it shows you did your homework, and most people won’t do it.
Actionable takeaway: Write the draft intro email for your contact. Give them something they can forward in one step. The easier you make it, the more likely it happens.
Following Up Is Not Annoying — It’s a Necessity
People are busy. Stressed. Distracted. They see a message, mean to respond, and then life happens. Following up isn’t pushing — it’s helping someone help you.
Kelly uses a four-week follow-up cycle with clients:
Week 1: Your intro message — specific ask, resume attached, job link included.
Week 2: A brief nudge. “Just moving this to the top of your inbox — I know how busy you are.” That’s it. You’re literally doing what you said.
Week 3: A gentle check-in. If you haven’t heard back: “I understand how busy you are. If you’re not comfortable with a referral, is there any way you could check on the status of my application or find out if the role is still open?”
Week 4: A graceful exit. “This is probably not the best inbox for you right now — I completely understand. If you happen to see this and can still help, I’d appreciate any insight. Thank you for your time.” Then put it to bed.
Kelly’s tip for staying organized: repeating calendar invites. Set one to repeat weekly for four weeks, label it with the person’s name and the company, and let the calendar do the remembering for you. When it fires, you do the task. When the four weeks are done, you’re done.
For the full template, search “Allora Job Search System” on our blog.
Actionable takeaway: Most people give up after one message. The follow-up is where the conversation actually starts. Set a calendar reminder and do it.
What Recruiters Actually Look for When a Referral Lands
Chez walked through what separates a referral that gets prioritized from one that gets treated like a regular application — and the difference comes down to the referrer’s involvement.
Many companies distinguish between a lead (someone you don’t know but wanted to help apply) and a referral (someone whose work you can actually speak to). Leads sometimes get a small bonus but don’t receive the same treatment as a referral from someone who’s willing to advocate.
The referrals that land are the ones where the referrer did the extra work: followed up with the recruiter, followed up with the hiring manager, and was willing to get on a call to explain why the person was a fit — even when the resume didn’t match on paper. Chez shared two examples from the same department where this played out. In both cases, the referrer’s advocacy got the candidate into the process. In both cases, the candidate was prepared — not coached on what to say, but briefed on what the team was working on, so they could connect their own experience to the role naturally.
Kelly made the connection to interview prep: “It’s the same as interview prep. You’re giving people the information they need so that they can repeat it on your behalf. If someone likes you in the interview but one other person is on the fence, they have to convince that person. You’re helping them make the case.”
Actionable takeaway: When you ask someone to refer you, give them a tight one-paragraph summary of who you are and why you belong in the role — something they can forward or repeat in a 30-second conversation with a hiring manager. Make it easy to advocate for you.
After Someone Helps You: The 24-Hour Rule and What Comes Next
This is the step most people skip — and it’s one of the most important for building the kind of network that keeps working for you over time.
Within 24 hours of someone making an introduction or referral: send a thank you. Not a long one. Just genuine.
Within one week: update them on the outcome. Did the recruiter respond? Did you get a first-round interview? Did the role get put on hold? They want to know. And if they made the introduction, they have a stake in how it goes.
After resolution: circle back with the final result, whatever it is. If you got the offer — tell them. If you didn’t move forward — tell them that too, and thank them again. And always offer to help them in return: “Please let me know if there’s ever anything I can do for you or someone in your network.”
There’s another opportunity people miss entirely: the people who interviewed you but didn’t hire you. Connect with them. Send a thank-you note with a specific line about something from the conversation. They have networks too. The hiring manager who passed on you today might refer you to a colleague at another company next quarter.
Read more in our blog post on interviews as networking tools.
“You will remember the people that make you feel light. They will remember you. People will remember your kindness — because as we go through our careers and through the world, there’s so much noise that feels so heavy.” — Kelly Kugler, Allora Collective
Actionable takeaway: Set a reminder to follow up within 24 hours of any introduction or referral. Then again at one week. Then again at resolution. The people who do this become the people others want to help again and again.
Networking Is a Communication Skill, Not a Personality Type
Kelly closed the video with something she feels strongly about: networking is not something extroverts are good at and introverts aren’t. It’s a communication skill. It’s a system. And anyone can build it.
She’s been doing it for 20-plus years and still doesn’t love it. She’d rather be on a sofa watching TV with a small group. But she built the system because the system works. And the way you do it now — you don’t even have to talk to anyone. You can type the message. You can use AI to edit it. You can have someone help you draft it. The bar to entry is lower than it’s ever been.
She also made a point that stuck: companies are not doing anything to help candidates right now. They’re buying products, testing tools, and making the process more automated and more transactional. The people who are going to be okay in this market are the ones who activate the community around them and help each other.
“I have never met a hiring manager who told me they prefer an AI-screened candidate to a referral. Not one.” — Kelly Kugler, Allora Collective
Actionable takeaway: Pick five people from your mapped network this week and send one message each. Use a template if it helps. Make the ask specific. Make it easy to say yes. Then follow up.
Watch the Full Conversation
Watch the full 54-minute video for all of this and more — including the hiring seasons framework (when to go hard, when to take a breath), Kelly’s story about reaching out to someone she hadn’t spoken to in 10 years, and the full TLDR from Chez on where to start if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Video Timestamps
- 0:00 – Welcome back: why networking keeps coming up in every conversation
- 1:59 – TLDR: most people don’t lack a network, they lack a plan
- 3:39 – “I don’t have a network” — why it’s almost never true
- 5:26 – The mapping exercise: how to find your 20–50+ contacts
- 6:47 – The Allora Networking Planner: organizing connections to target companies
- 8:37 – What people overlook: cross-functional colleagues, personal connections, wider community
- 10:51 – Following up is not annoying — it’s a necessity
- 12:30 – The four-week follow-up cycle (and why it works)
- 15:52 – Bad message vs. good message: what a recruiter sees
- 19:22 – The LinkedIn connection request mistake everyone makes
- 22:44 – Good ask vs. bad ask: how to make it turnkey for your contact
- 26:47 – What makes a referral actually land (from the recruiting side)
- 29:50 – The magic is in the prep: helping your referrer advocate for you
- 32:42 – After someone helps you: the 24-hour thank you and the follow-through
- 36:22 – Networking is not a personality type — it’s a system
- 40:58 – TLDR: where to start this week
- 43:47 – Proactively offering to help: the community angle
- 47:27 – Free tools, blog resources, and how to book a consultation
- 49:00 – Hiring seasons: when to push, when to pace yourself
Want to Build Your Networking Plan with a Real Coach?
Networking is one of Allora’s most-requested coaching sessions — because people leave with a real plan, not just advice. We cover LinkedIn people searches for referrals and introductions, how to map your network to target companies, effective messaging, the full four-week follow-up cycle, and how hiring activity shifts throughout the year.
Free networking templates are available when you subscribe to our email list — they arrive in your welcome email.
