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3 Coaching Tips For Listening To Your Dreams, Not Your Fears

Have you heard yourself say (out loud or in your head), “I can’t do this. I don’t think I’m the right person for the job. I don’t meet all the requirements. It will look like I think I’m better than them. People will think I’m not good enough”? You are not alone, in fact this is so common it is normal

Impostor syndrome is one of the most discussed topics around career development, especially when it comes to women. Even more, when it comes to BIPCO. A feeling of constant doubt, fear, inadequacy, fraud, never ready to take the next step.

Thinking of someone not going full force on their dreams, life and career, just makes me want to run around the world with a banner that reads, “Hell yeah, you can do it!”

What even is impostor syndrome? And why should we let it decide how far we can reach and how many bold decisions we are allowed in a lifetime?
Spoiler alert: infinite.

The conversation around imposter syndrome is ongoing. Some say it’s a feeling of inadequacy: feeling that you have tricked everyone around you into believing you are good at your job waiting for someone to call you out. Others (me included) believe that many people who experience imposter syndrome are people who don’t experience their environment or past environments as inclusive and/or representative of themselves (due mostly because of racial, gender & class inequality), which leads them to think, “how did I get here? This must be a mistake! I’m not qualified! I don’t belong here!”

Whenever confronted with these feelings as well as the desire to move forward in life, experience new adventures, growing and learning, what can we do to help ourselves kick ass and live the life we are over the moon excited about?

Here are three coaching techniques and tips I have used myself and with my clients. I hope you find them as helpful as we do.

1. Unpack what you're feeling.

More importantly: what would you like to feel instead?
What does the opposite of impostor syndrome look like to you? Ask yourself, what would you like to feel instead? Whatever that may mean to you. Get specific, give it a name, think of how you would feel, act and what others would notice about you if you had your so-called ‘opposite of impostor syndrome’. This exercise will help you shift your attention from what you don’t want to what you want and hopefully shed some more light on how you can achieve it.

2. What would your life look like if you didn't have ‘impostor syndrome’?

Dream big and again, get super specific! What would you be doing, where would you be living, what would you be working on, what would your hobbies be, who would you be with? Does thinking about that life get you excited? Then be excited! Think of ways in which you can make that happen! Stuck on how to do that? Ask someone for help. You can also ask me!

3. Surround yourself with awesome people, and don't be shy to ask for their help!

When I think of times when instead of feeling inadequate, I felt happy, empowered, heard, creative and energised, I know that these were times spent with people who want to see me shine! People who can share their expertise, their knowledge and experience. People who will give me valuable feedback and will celebrate my victories as they would their own: mentors, coaches, pen-pals colleagues, as well as inspirational people whose podcasts or books I read. These connections shed light on the kind of life we want to live and where we can explore and find the resources and solutions to live out our desired future.

As a solution-focused life coach I partner with the curious & the creative from all over the world to build fulfilling life journeys together, using coaching techniques catered to their needs. If you’ve experienced any of what I described above you are not alone. The imposter syndrome experience is more common than most of us realize and these techniques have helped many people move through those feelings of doubt. If you are ready to change paths, set goals and be brave, let’s talk!

Get in touch for a free exploratory session
Good luck out there.
Coach Clari

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